Australian Court Docket – Stationery

Author: Wes | Filed under: FREE Stationery, Uncategorized Sunday Sep 20,2009

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 —

CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.

She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

She immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again

The man seemed more amused.

When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing,

she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)

what he had to say for himself.

The man replied,

‘Well your Honor, it was like this:

when the lady got on the bus,

I couldn’t help but notice her condition.

She sat down under a sign that said,

‘The Double Mint Twins are coming’ and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,

‘Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling,’ and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,

‘William’s Big Stick Did the Trick,’ and I could hardly contain myself.

But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time

and sat under a sign that said,

‘Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!’

… I just lost it.’

‘CASE DISMISSED!!’

Now keep that smile

‘CASE DISMISSED!!’

Now keep that smile

 

PDF Version to Mail to your Friends & Family:

AUSTRALIAN_COURT_DOCKET

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Indisputable Mathematical Logic

Author: kwaddell | Filed under: Uncategorized Monday Sep 14,2009

Mathematical logic

Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. It also made me Laugh Out Loud. This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint….it goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-*-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far a_s kissing will take you.

A-*-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullsh_t and A_s Kissing that will put you over the top.

PDF Version: Mathematical logic

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FREE Photo Calendar Template Downloads

Author: kwaddell | Filed under: FREE Stationery, Site Information Friday Sep 11,2009
April 2010 photo calendar template

April 2010 photo calendar template

 

Hi Scrapbook and Stationery friend,

I’m going to make this one really quick today… I just uploaded brand new 2010 Photo Calendar Templates for you.  I’ve even added a couple of versions of April, July & December calendars so you can make one that best fits your life.

Get all the details and download to your hearts content with no signups at all.  Here’s the link to where they are:

Http://www.FreeScrapbookTraining.com

Enjoy and let me know if you use them to create a Christmas or other gift… I’d love to hear how much they loved it.  I know my family can’t wait to get their’s each year.

Kathy

www.MyPrincessCrafts.com

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